FALLING INTO OBLIVION

HEY GUYS , ITS MIRAGE HERE . MOST OF THE POEMS I POST ARE NOT ORIGINAL , I TAKE QUOTES WRITTEN BY VARIOUS PEOPLE AND DRAW A STORY OUT OF THEM , I STORY THAT I RELATE TO .

This time , I wrote something original , completely my own words . I am not a good writer . I just love writing stories with beautiful meaning but I can never find the correct words to express them . That’s why I use quotes . But I want to try . Try to write as beautifully as all of you write . So here is something I wrote , it’s not profound or deep but something that means a lot to me . I really hope you all can give me some advice on how to improve my writing skills .

I’m in love with you .
That was all it took for me to fall into oblivion , deep and unescapable oblivion .
I fell so hard , blindly , unwaveringly without question .
This was my weakness .
And eventually this was what led to my decent into oblivion .
I just wanted to be loved , like everyone else and I thought that I found that in you .
I dont know if I loved you when you told me those words or if I merely liked the idea of someone loving me.
Nevertheless I fell into a relentless cycle of thinking about you , dreaming about you , wishing about you .
I loved you
I really did
Even to this day , i still love you.
People say that one can never forget about their first lives , that there will always be only one first love in one’s life and that they will always be special
They were right and wrong.
They were right about the fact that i will always , always truly and deeply love you
not only because you were my first love
but because you will always be the only one I will ever love.
The power to love someone else , to let my broken , shattered heart open to another’s love is something you took from me that day.
The day you pushed me into a endless pit of oblivion , where all I have are memories of you .
Where all I can think about in this darkness with no one around is you .
I never loved you.
That was all it took , for me to fall into oblivion , deep and unescapable oblivion

Shades Of Untouched Canvas

( Disclaimer : I do not take credit for my posts / stories / poems / works . None of them are completely original . I wish to tell my story in a way that soothes my soul and makes me feel satisfied , And I do so by incorporating various quotes from different authors / poets / etc . I use different quotes written by different people to create my own story . None of these quotes / words / sentenes belong to me . I have not written them and the credit goes to the original owners . I just wish to tel my story through these beautiful words . CREDITS GOES TO THE AUTHOR/POET AND I DID NOT WRITE THESE QUOTES)

I’m a blank canvas,
with unlimited possibilities.

My body is a canvas of emotions,
A most beautiful and unique masterpiece.

Little by little ,brushstrokes spell out,
my story on a canvas .

I’m one mere color,
Lost in the darkness.

A white canvas ,
A cold, pale shade of understanding,
Taking all of my hope away.

Clouds come floating into my life,
Not to add color to my sunset sky,
But to carry rain and usher storm .

The sky is already purple,
The first few stars have disappeared.

When the sky gets jealous of water, color flows,
Bathing my soul in black,
Swallowing the sunset and drinking the light .

I’m a little freak of brightness ,
In a universe of impenetrable shadows.

A splash on color on my canvas ,
Revealing my most rapturous truth .

The canvas is no longer black and white ,
But a million shades between .

Different Shades Of Me,
Mystery to Some,
Open Book to a Few,
I am, What I am,
Full of Love to Some,
Rude to a few,
Different Shades of Me.

Thats who I am .
A blank cannvas ,
With unlimited possibilities .

Heart of Darkness

(Disclaimer : I do not take credit for my posts / stories / poems / works . None of them are completely original . I wish to tell my story in a way that soothes my soul and makes me feel satisfied , And I do so by incorporating various quotes from different authors / poets / etc . I use different quotes written by different people to create my own story . None of these quotes / words / sentenes belong to me . I have not written them and the credit goes to the original owners . I just wish to tel my story through these beautiful words . CREDITS GOES TO THE AUTHOR/POET AND I DID NOT WRITE THESE QUOTES)

We are all alone, born alone, die alone .

We shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way.

And that’s how I feel too , right now .

I feel its far better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone who doesn’t understand your pain , your sadness .

I  do not wish to be someone’s burden ,

so I build a mask for myself , a mask with an everlasting smile .

A personality of happiness and warmth clashing with my ice coldness.

And when a little truth spills out , hands start pointing out , mouths start speaking .

I must  wear a mask suited to others , but should I ?

I know what you’ll say

Life is too good to be alone

But sometimes life is too hard to not be alone

In fact

I don’t want to be alone,

I want to be left alone

My mask need a little rest

And I also need time to change my mask ,

It takes time to peel off the one I am wearing and time to adjust to the other one

Don’t misunderstand , I do want to talk to you

But its tiring , after all we need someone who matches our tempo right ?

Well I wish I could be sorry , but I’m not

Matching your ridiculously warm tempo ain’t in me

So at times ,

I have to be alone very often

And then you start talking , assuming

God so frustrating ,

Is it because I experienced so much in such a short time that I find you so immature

Well I don’t care anymore

 I need to refuel

 After all I need to come back as your self imagined person the next day

But right now I need to do something absolutely honest,

 Something true,

Something myself , something that

 Always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone

And when I’m alone

I feel too much.

That’s what’s going on.

Sometimes when I feel like talking

I ask you

‘ ‘Do you think one can feel too much?

Or just feel in the wrong ways?’

‘My insides don’t match up with my outsides.’

‘Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up?’

‘I don’t know. I’m only me.’

‘Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside.’

 ‘But it’s worse for me.’

 ‘I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him.’

 ‘Probably. But it really is worse for me

And what do you say

Nothing , after all

Now I’m being weird

I’m being unusual

Listening to you I realize

The mask is too tight

The smile is slipping

I need to fix it quickly

I laugh ,

I try to make it genuine

But it comes of as fake as it can come

I turn to see you reaction

Oh wait I forgot

You only see what you want to see

A genuine laugh

Well okay

I tried to blend into the world again

But people always disappoint me

Nothing new anyway

Sometimes

being alone never felt right.

sometimes it felt good,

well , now my mask is done for the day ,

 I need to rest

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